Just when I thought I couldn't love Stephen Colbert any more, comes this little gem (via Yahoo.com)....
WASHINGTON – NASA's online contest to name a new room at the international space station went awry. Comedian Stephen Colbert won.
The name "Colbert" beat out NASA's four suggested options in the space agency's effort to have the public help name the addition. The new room will be launched later this year. NASA's mistake was allowing write-ins. Colbert urged viewers of his Comedy Central show, "The Colbert Report" to write in his name. And they complied, with 230,539 votes. That clobbered Serenity, one of the NASA choices, by more than 40,000 votes. Nearly 1.2 million votes were cast by the time the contest ended Friday.
NASA reserves the right to choose an appropriate name. Agency spokesman John Yembrick said NASA will decide in April, but will give top vote-getters "the most consideration."
Of course, it's all fun and games until the Space Shuttle Limbaugh takes off.
In the time it's taken me to post the complete "report from the frontlines" trilogy, President Obama has succeeded in getting Congress to approve a stimulus plan to keep us from entering a Mad Max future. Personally, I hate that this "bailout" is necessary, and there is a part of me that thinks "bring on Thunderdome Tina Turner" just on principle, as a severe act of fairness for those of us who did not live so beyond our means. But, I agree with President Obama (damn, that still feels so good to say) that extraordinary measures need to be taken to pull our economy out of the downward spiral that it's in - and, currently, the practical solutions me is winning the battle with righteous Thunderdome me.
So, here are some of my ideas on how we, and our government, should proceed...
1. As I mentioned in the last installment of this oh-so-compelling three part series, the banks need to immediately put a halt to the waves of short sales that are propelling the real estate markets downward. Homeowners need to have just two options...pay the mortgage or have your property foreclosed upon.
2. The federal government should force all banks to modify each and every homeowner's primary residence mortgage to 30-year fixed 4% rate product. This is the only fair solution that will stop the waves of distressed properties entering the market due to re-setting ridiculously adjustable interest rates, as well as provide a benefit to the majority of people who are continuing to fulfill their mortgage obligations. A 4% interest rate would also bring buyers back in to the market, helping to further stabilize prices and banking systems.
3. There needs to be regulatory legislation that requires a minimum percentage of down payment for any real estate purchase - possibly 10%, which would help prevent another housing bubble, and still keep home ownership within reach to a significant portion of the population.
4. Instead of pouring money into the sinking financial systems, we need to pour money into job creation through infrastructure investment. There is a lot of this idea in the stimulus plan, but I'd like to see it go further than it does. Americans need to see some real, tangible results from the biggest spending package that our nation's history. I'd like to see the billions of dollars invested in putting Americans to work building wind and solar farms, massive public transportation systems, and new schools. The factories of the Detroit automakers that don't survive because of decades of bad business decisions could be used to build a new America and a better world.
5. End marijuana prohibition now. Listen, I'm not a stoner. I don't like pot, and haven't smoked out in more than a decade. But, it's just absurd that tobacco and alcohol, both of which are extremely addictive, dangerous and harmful, are available at the grocery store, while we spend billions of dollars per year investigating, intercepting, arresting and housing people who buy and sell a prohibited plant. We would immediately save an estimated $7.7 billion in prohibition enforcement, and we would gain about $6.2 billion in annual tax revenue.
6. Bring the troops in Iraq home now. The War on Iraq was lost the day we realized that there were no weapons of mass destruction. We invaded on the premise that Saddam Hussein had terrible biological and chemical weapons pointed at the United States and our goal was to dismantle the weapons and the sinister government behind them. And, now, almost six years after the initial invasion, and the announcement that there actually were no WMDs, we're still there. We don't know why we're there. We don't have any goals, other than to bring democracy to the Iraqi people - who, for the most part, just want us to get the fuck out of their homeland. Let's bring home 100,000 of our young men and women who are currently patrolling the streets and deserts of Iraq. Let's get them back home and into the economy, and cut out nearly a billion dollars of spending per month.
7. In the near future, in order to stimulate a new economic model, I would support eliminating income taxes and the IRS, and switching to a consumption tax. Trust me, it kills me to agree with Mike Huckabee on anything. But, the truth is that our current system of taxing income has become so complicated that it's become more of an art than a science, and it seems like no one really knows how much income tax they're really supposed to pay. Tim Geithner, the person in charge of the economic rescue of our nation, couldn't even figure out how much he was supposed to pay! A broad sales tax of, let say 30%, would be fair in its even distribution, logical in its eas of implementation, and smart in its promotion of savings and less use of limited resources.
8. Universal health care. I can't imagine how anyone could possibly not support a national system of high standard health care available to all Americans. Medical bills are the number one cause of personal bankruptcy in the United States.
If I ruled the world, these would be some of my solutions to the mess that we're in. I think Obama's plan is a good one, and I'm hopeful that we are nearing the bottom of the spiral.
The vast majority of homeowners, who are flooding the market with their short sale listings and sticking their lenders (most of which YOU now own) with hundred thousand dollar losses, could pay their mortgage if they felt they had to. But, because the Joneses down the street were able to get rid of their mortgage by short selling at a $75,000 loss to the bank , and they aren't facing any long-term consequences, well, now the Smiths want to do the same. And so do the Riveras and the Wongs and the McNeelys.
The safeguards that are in place to prevent "just anyone" from being approved by the bank for a short sale are failing miserably, and the result is that everyone thinks that they can just walk away from their mortgage obligation and just have a hit on their credit report for a couple of years. A candidate for a short sale is supposed to prove to the bank that they are completely bankrupt. The package that I am responsible for putting together and sending to the bank must contain the following as proof of insolvency:
1. A hardship letter - this is a one-page letter written by the homeowner explaining to the bank why they can't pay their mortgage.
2. Income tax returns from the past two years. -
3. Copies of all bank account statements from the past two months.
4. A financial worksheet showing all of the monthly sources of income and expenses.
I have a pretty good feeling that a lot of people are being about as honest with the financial information that they give me for the short sale request package as they were with the financial information they gave to the mortgage broker when they got their $550,000 loan. And, I can assure you that the banks are not checking to see if there are other bank accounts that weren't included, or if the information on the financial worksheet is accurate.
I come home each night, and I hear CNN hosts ranting about how poor, upstanding, hard-working, Main Street Americans are being forced out of their homes by big, evil, Wall Street tycoons. And, while Wall Street is ultimately responsible for creating loan "products" for people that couldn't afford them, and while there are a lot of people who really cannot fulfill their mortgage obligations because of lost jobs or resetting interest rates, there are also an awful lot of people who just don't want to keep paying. Media personalities, like Lou Dobbs, present, night after night, stories of poor people who got hoodwinked by the faceless Wall Street elite into signing those mortgage papers and now can't pay. And, I am certain that a lot of people really didn't understand what they were signing, and there were a lot of people preyed upon by predatory lenders. But, because of these heartbreaking stories of single mothers losing their suburban McMansions to foreclosure, too many people think that the right thing to do is to take revenge on those sinister mortgage lending banks by short selling.
The first solution that needs to be implemented: banks need to completely stop doing short sales (except in the case of the death of a spouse or a domestic partner). They need to simply foreclose on properties where the owners have stopped making payments. I guarantee that bank losses, in the long run, would be less if homeowners had only the options of paying the mortgage, or having a foreclosure destroy their credit for years and years to come.
Cutting out the option of short sale would also save a lot of people from "inadvertant foreclosure." What I see happening now, is that a lot of people who want to get out from under decide to list their property as a short sale, thinking that it will be as easy as it was for the Smiths down the street. But, months pass and still no buyer. Finally, after 8 months of marketing (and not paying the mortgage, or condo fees, or property taxes - but still going out to eat every night) they get an offer that's $100,000 below what they owe. Their realtor puts together the short sale request package and sends it to the bank. But, it takes 4 to 5 months to be processed by the bank's short sale department, and in that time the foreclosure department sets a date for the foreclosure sale. And, now these people, who could have paid their mortgage, but opted for a short sale, ended up with a foreclosure and will likely never be able to buy property again.
I have a few more observations and ideas regarding this mess...(to be continued)
I have steered fairly clear of bringing my worklife back home to the Lair. Generally, I like to blog at work, not blog about work. But, alas, the time has come to share some observations from the frontlines of the economic meltdown.
I work as a transaction coordinator for one of the top-producing real estate teams in Florida. Basically, I do all of the behind-the-scenes work, all of the research and paperwork, and all of the detail necessary work - which allows the agents on my team to focus on selling real estate. It's a lot of work, a lot of stress, and it's definitely not my life's dream. But, for the moment it pays the bills, and well, I'm pretty good at it. And, of course, there's the benefit of having a ringside seat for the Great Depression 2.0.
I started working in real estate at the height of the market - January 2005. I didn't know a thing about real estate, but I quickly learned the industry lingo - "no doc interest only loan", "not contingent upon appraisal" and "preconstruction flip."From 2002 to 2005 the market in many Miami zip codes rose nearly 200% in value thanks to "creative financing" and the new "investor" class. I watched as nurses and construction workers and waiters bought condos for $400,000 and I wondered "how the fuck can everyone afford to buy at these prices?" Well, in October 2005, the market turned, nearly overnight, and like a big game of musical chairs, a lot of those in the "investor class" suddenly couldn't sell and got stuck without a chair.
Our market has plummeted by nearly half since the height, and now I specialize in processing and negotiating short sales. A short sale occurs when a property owner sells her / his property for less than what he / she owes on the mortgage(s), thereby sticking the bank with the difference. It's my job to put together a convincing package for the bank to convince them that it's better to take, for example, a $100,000 hit than to foreclose on the property and lose even more through attorney's fees and further market depreciation. For the seller, a short sale is a much, much better option in that it only damages the seller's credit score for 2 to 3 years - as opposed to a foreclosure which obliterates the credit score for 8 years, and the seller will always have to disclose to any future mortgage lender that he / she has had a foreclosure in the past.
Unfortunately, what is occuring is a tidal wave of short sales, each one costing the banks tens of thousands, and often hundreds of thousands of dollars. And, each successful short sale brings down the value of the whole neighborhood - which causes more homeowners to become "upside down" - meaning that they now owe more than the property is worth. Then, everyone in the neighborhood wants to "get out" and short sell their property. It's a downward spiral fueled by fear and anxiety.
Just as the "safeguards" failed on the way up, the rules that are in place that regulate who can be approved for a short sale are failing on the way down. What do I mean? Well, here's what you won't hear from Lou Dobbs, or any of the other populist media personalities. (to be continued).
About 300 people turned out in Miami Beach for the Join The Impact protest to remind President-Elect Obama of his commitment to the GLBT community, and in particular his promise to push for a repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act. We began the evening by having supporters and passers-by sign the Join The Impact petition that will be sent to our new President.
JOIN THE IMPACT NATIONAL PROTEST FOR THE REPEAL OF THE DEFENSE OF MARRIAGE ACT!
WHEN? January 10th, 2009. From 5:00pm until 7:00pm
WHERE? Miami Beach's "Old" City Hall at 1130 Washington Avenue in South Beach.
WHAT IS IT? This protest, which will be coordinated with other protests around the country, will focus on the Defense of Marriage Act. DOMA is the 1996 law which bans the federal government from recognizing same-sex relationships as marriages, and which also means that same-sex marriages that are legal in one state do not have to be recognized by any other. Republicans wrote it, Clinton signed it into law, and Obama has said he will repeal it. LET'S HOLD HIM TO THAT PROMISE!
WHAT WILL WE BE DOING? Cities all over California will be lighting up their city hall buildings blue - the color blue as a symbol of equality. The City of Miami Beach will be joining California, and will light our "Old" City Hall blue! We will gather in Lummus Park (at 12th Street and Ocean Drive) and then march to the Old City Hall. Bring your signs, banners and slogans!
Tony, Jody and I saw "Slumdog Millionaire" last night. I don't want to give any of it away, or hype it beyond reasonable expectations...but it really is one of the best movies I have EVER seen. I thought we were going to have to take Tony out of the theatre on a stretcher.
2008 will be remembered as a year of "challenges" - global climate change, the never-ending War on Iraq, the collapse of the American economy, genocide in Darfur, the exponentially increasing rate of species extinction, the exponentially increasing rate of population rocketing past 6.5 billion, Sarah Palin, Proposition 8 and Amendment 2, the rise of Nancy Grace, the War in Afghanistan, Bernie Madoff, "Drill Baby Drill", Bailout Bonuses, Joe the Plumber, massive foreclosures, the loss of Estelle Getty, Heath Ledger and Tim Russert, chaos in Pakistan, Fred Thompson, the floating island of toxic plastic trash in the Pacific, oil speculation, Britney's meltdown, melting ice caps, and rising sea levels.
In spite of the headlines, 2008 was, without a doubt, one of the best years of my life.
In February, we had a really great time in Atlanta. So much so, that we've been very seriously considering moving up north, to the Deep South, ever since. We climbed Stone Mountain, hiked Sweetwater Creek State Park, took the CNN tour, visited the awesome Georgia Aquarium, and generally had fun with Stimpy.
Stimpy came to visit it April, and we took a little road-trip to the "Happiest Place on Earth" for the weekend. Stimpy and I loved, loved, loved "Expedition Everest" at Disney's Animal Kingdom. Tony's more of an "It's a Small World" kinda guy.
In May, we finally got to see Avenue Q - and it was awesome! And, we spent the long Memorial Day weekend visiting my family in Pittsburgh, and had a fun time at Kennywood with Betty and Patrick.
June. Hmmm. June. What the heck did we do in June? Oh yeah. We went to Gay Disney, the defining moment of which was seeing the long line of bears waiting to get in to the Country Bear Jamboree.
July was the month of Fanny Pak. And the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics. Possibly the best thing I've ever seen on television. And we saw "WALL-E." Possibly movie of the year.
In November, we watched with joyful hearts and tearful eyes, as Barack Obamagave his victory speech. Until the day I die, I will never forget the feeling of hope that I felt at that moment. The next weekend we took a trip to visit Tony's family in Syracuse - and I got to finally meet Lisa - one of Tony's long-time friends. Then I got sick, and that totally sucked. On November 15th, we attended the Join The Impactprotest, and became a part of Stonewall 2.0. A few days later, Tony asked me to marry him. I said ok. Then Tony got sick, and that sucked too. I had a great birthday at my favorite Indian restaurant. And we saw "Milk." Did I mention that Tony asked me to marry him? Yep, he did.
We had lots of fun in December too. We saw Gutenberg! The Musicalat the Actor's Playhouse, with Olga, and we laughed our asses off. Really, really good show. Tony, Jason and I organized Miami's Light Up the Night for Equalityevent, and met a bunch of good people in doing so. Stimpy came to visit for the holidays, and Tony's friend, Bill the Cat, came for a quick overnight. The four of us went to the Corteo production of Cirque Du Soleil- one of the best Cirques that I've seen.
Here, in a city much more known for its after-hours clubs and celebrity spottings than for progressive activism, a couple of hundred people came out to stand up for fairness and equality at our Light Up the Night for Equality demonstration. We stood, united, in the heart of South Beach, and we all did our part to keep the conversation going.
And, as a bonus, I had the pleasure of meeting superstar activist / blogger Eric Levan, who encouraged Miami to RAGE ON!
The Join the Impactprotests brought hundreds of thousands of people into the streets, last month, in nearly every city across the nation, and marked the beginning of the next era of activism in our community. The next big action is a national candlelight vigil - in remembrance of the civil marriage rights that were lost, and in honor of the future of equality that is to come. Tony and I have stepped up to help organize the Miami event...so, I probably won't have much time to spend around here until after the 20th.
'Tis the season for re-posting my annual updated anti-Black Friday post.....
The malls here in Miami began decking the halls 2 months ago, and had Santa's train installed just as the last back to school sales were ending. I know it's cliche at this point to feel nostalgic for the days when the holy season of giving gently revealed itself shortly after Thanksgiving. Today, a 5am scuffle in the line outside of Best Buy on Black Friday merely marks the halfway point in the season of stress and artifice.
Again, this year, I'm committing to honoring the reason for the season - the winter solstice - and celebrating this beautiful time of year by spending quality time with the people that I love, and sharing meaningful socially-conscious gifts instead of spending time fighting the crowds, so I can check people off my list with cheap plastic crap from Walmart and iPod iPhone accessories.
Of course, this year, there will most likely be less in the way of shopping hordes, thanks to the collapse of the trickle-down economy, and that only means that every dollar you spend will have more power to bring about a better world. This season, each holiday gift that you purchase, will have an impact. Amidst all of the news of frozen credit and layoffs and golden parachutes, is the opportunity to help build our communities, bring about more peace, and protect the world around us, just by putting a little thought and a little heart into where we place our dollar power.
I know I've been a bit on the "militant homosexual" tip lately, but majorities of Americans - my neighbors and co-workers and family members - in state after state, continue to go out of their way to deny legal recognition of our marriages and to vote against treating me as an equal member of this society, all while taking my tax money to pay for services for their families....it's just maddening. Sister Unity Divineof The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence speaks so well for so many of us that are just too damned angry to speak.
We will keep falling in love, and we will wear two-foot long eyelashes if we want to, and there's not a fucking thing that Focus on the Family or any other the other "Christian" hate groups can do about it.
Miami Beach was all sunshine and love today, as we joined in the nationwide call to Join the Impact. It felt so good to get out, and let the country know that we will not go down quietly. I am so excited by the number of young people and straight people that showed up and the passion that is in their hearts. We really are going to win this thing in the long run. Oh, and one person showed up to protest the protest, and as you can see in the photo, he is totally insane.
Now, we have to keep the momentum going. If you live in the Miami area, SAVE DADEwill host a "town hall" to discuss where we, as a community, go from here. For details, click here.
If you have photos, or a post about the event in your city, please leave a comment with a link. I'd love to see and hear about it!
