2012 - The Year The World Didn't End

2012.   The year the world didn't end.  Well, for me, in some ways, the world, as I knew it, did end in 2012.  
 
I'm a pretty chipper guy.   And, I'm so, so grateful for the love and the life that I have.   But, this past year was marked by some pretty big shifts in life perspectives made from real and hard losses. There were lots of smiles, Stone Mountain hikes, and good theater too, though...


In January, Tony and I hiked up Stone Mountain (a lot), made some new friends at East Side Pride's "Eat Your Art Out" event, and had a pretty life-changing dinner date with the MarSmithalls at El Jinete.  

In February, spring came early, and daffodils were blooming by the first of the month.  Tony and I saw "Memphis" at the Fox Theatre, and what a great show!    I volunteered some at Zoo Atlanta, and organized an East Side Pride "Shopping for Equality" day at JCPenney at Northlake Mall as a thank you for the company's decision to stand by Ellen as their spokesperson.   And, one lucky Friday evening, I happened to run into my celebrity crush, Sanjay Gupta, on a Stone Mountain hike.  Of course, I turned in to a crazed paparazzo...

March was busy, busy, busy.   There was a "Dunaire Dines Out" at Mi Casa and and an East Side Pride bowling night at Stars and Strikes.  Tony and I saw "Billy Elliot" at the Fox, which was overwhelmingly meh.  I made a long hard drive to Pittsburgh to visit Ruth, and had some nice quality time with her.  The next week, Linda and Nicole came to visit us in Atlanta, which was awesome!  Tony and I went on my work-sponsored "Dirty South Tour," hitting Birmingham, Tupelo, Memphis, and Nashville along the way.   And, we got caught in the in a soul-cleansing rain shower on Stone Mountain....

In April, we celebrated our three year Atlanta anniversary.  Tony and I had a romantic-type date night full of jazz, fondue, and live alligators at Dante's Down The Hatch, and we had a nice visit from Karen and Ken and an all-too-quick hello from bestie-in-law, Lauren,.  We saw "Les Miserables" at the Fox and I came to understand how thoroughly genius live theater can be.  

I started off May with a work trip to Huntsville, Alabama - which I found out is much less awful than I assumed it would be.  President Obama made history, and made me cry, by coming out in support of marriage equality.  Shawn came to visit from Wi-Cheetah, and I really loved seeing him again, and I fell even more madly in love with Atlanta over Memorial Day weekend with Mondo Homo and the Atlanta Jazz Festival!   

June was hard.  It started with a heartbreaking call from Andrea, who had just lost her best friend.   Felix was so smart, so charming, so inspiring, and so ridiculously funny.   He is gone way too soon.   

June went out with a oppressively hot bang with record breaking heat, and the highest temperature ever recorded in Atlanta...106 degrees.   But, of course, climate change is a Liberal conspiracy.  

July brought some much needed laughs and friend time with a fun night at SketchWorks improv theatre, a visit from long-lost Strudel from Germany, and a "Big Chill" weekend with the MarSmithalls & Company in a mountain house in Asheville, North Carolina!  

On August 25th, 2012, the only mother I ever knew passed.   I gave the eulogy. 

My mother, Ruth Bentley, was born in September 1918, just a few minutes from here in Wilson.   She was the third of William and Sadie’s four children, and by all family accounts, she was a real pistol from the get-go.    Her sister, Gladys, used to tell stories about her rebellious little sister’s adventures of cutting school and getting in trouble.  We loved hearing Ruth’s stories of when she was a race car driver and about the job she had as a truck driver, long before women were allowed to do those things.  She was born at a time when most women weren’t allowed to have opinions.   Women weren’t even allowed to vote in 1918, but Ruth never allowed anyone to tell her what she was not allowed to do.

I think a lot of sons speak of recently departed mothers using words like gentle, quiet, and soft.   Well, my mother was wasn’t any of those things.   My mother was strong and independent, loud and opinionated.  My mother was a hard-worker, a real fighter, and she loved having a good time too.   As she would say, she had a mind of her own.   She hung out in, and worked in, bars and honky-tonks  and she smoked and cussed with the best of them.   She met Ed in a bar in West Elizabeth and I never saw her have a better time than those long nights of playing guitars and singing  along with Ed and Peg and Ben until the wee hours.   Yes, there were no Ladies’ Auxillary luncheons on Ruth Bentley’s schedule.

But, it’s important to remember that she was also the type of woman who worked hard to provide for her only daughter in times when single mothers weren’t spoken of.   It’s important to remember that she was the type of woman who, at 55 years old, would take in a 3 year old boy with nowhere to go, give him a home, and raise him through his teenage years when other women her age were retiring enjoying a slower pace of life.   She was the type of woman who loved her grandchildren beyond measure, and the type of woman whose last smile came from holding her new great-grandson.

Ruth Bentley was a truly extraordinary woman, and I am so proud of her strength and independence,  and it truly warms my heart to see that she passed these characteristics on to her daughter and her grandchildren, and I am sure they will gift their children with these traits.   What a wonderful legacy my mother has left in her passing.   

She was such a vibrant personality, it will be hard for me to understand a world without her.  I will miss her always, and be forever grateful for the life that she provided me. 

Thank the Universe, September came with some much needed House Music medicine for the soul at House In The Park.  

 

I took Tony on the Big Apple / Big 5-0 Birthday Trip.   We spent four fun-packed days in New York City, and saw Betty, Kelly, and The Poodle, and had a fantastic mini-reunion with Tony's much cherished friends from his college days at Albany State.  We had a really great time with Betty at the Jackie Beat show, we saw "The Lion King," and visited the MOMA.  Oh, and I happened to have packed one of my favorite shirts, which I've had since the early '90s (so?) and did a little "then and now" photo...1996 to 2012.

After a fun, but exhausting, NYC romp, we took the train to Syracuse for a 5 day visit with family and a quick day trip to Rochester, which is super underrated (it has a f&*%ing waterfall in the middle of downtown!).   

After getting back home to the ATL, we were treated to an AMAZING production of War Horse at the Fox, and then treated even more to a visit from Dawn and Karina so we could all head over to Piper's wedding in Alabama (which, of course, culminated in a near altercation in an Alabama McDonald's parking lot over my Obama bumper sticker).  And, I took the coolest photo ever, of Louie greeting a late night visitor.

Brian came to visit in October for Atlanta Gay Pride, and we took him on a day trip to Chattanooga to satisfy my unrelenting hunger for kitschy roadside tourist attractions.   Rock City and Ruby Falls definitely did not disappoint and the Fairytale Cavern at Rock City was just over-the-top gloriously creepy gnome psychedelia.  Loved it.  The MarSmithalls had some profoundly wonderful news, and we had a nice afternoon of punkin carving at the MarSmithall compound with Ryan and Stimpy.   

November was exceedingly beautiful and started out right with a nice autumn hike with Ann, and a second term for President Obama!    Tony and I celebrated our 7th anniversary at our favorite special occasion type restaurant, Cafe Alsace, and we made our annual trip to Nashville for some Thanksgiving warmth and family.   We brought Tony's parents back to Atlanta with us for a not-long-enough visit and we took them to the Sun Dial. 

Just before Ro and Joe left, I was stricken by a deadly plague that kept me laid up for most of December.   Probably the longest and most recurring sickness I've ever had.  Yeah, December was a blast.  The world did not end, as predicted by the Mayans, and Tony and I had a particularly nice deep winter evening in front of the fireplace on the Solstice, and we saw "Les Miserables" at the movies with Lou and Kin on Christmas Day.   We said goodbye to 2012 with a trip to Savannah and watched the year end and the sun set while sitting on a swing, on Tybee Island Beach. 

And the world didn't end.   Sort of.

The 2012 Okapi Sampler!

We hear a lot these days about how globalization has made the world small.  Societies and economies have become vastly more interconnected, interdependent, and multicultural.  Thanks to a thousand new technologies, the planet is now fully digitized, wired, and Google-mapped, and people from around the globe can cross national and cultural boundaries in just a few clicks or through social media apps on mobile smart phones. 

Has globalization brought the utopian world that many of us who remember when the Wall fell had hoped for?   Yeah, um, pretty much not.   But, it has brought a sharing of ideas, experiences, and cultures in a way that's never been seen before, and the way we create, share, and experience music has shifted along with it.   The boundaries between musical genres are becoming as porous and blurry as the boundaries between cultures, and this year has really shown us all how big music can get when the world gets smaller.  In past decades, the American pop charts would allow a "world music" novelty here and there and we'd all dread the next play of "The Macarena," and wonder why exactly a dutchie should be passed on the left hand side.   Now, these cross-cultural musical phenomena aren't novelties, they're the new reality.   

Pop music in 2012 was defined by a South Korean techno-pop sensation, a Filipino-Puerto Rican from Hawaii who gave us a new Motown sound, a Barbadian hip-pop princess, and an offbeat Belgian-Australian singer-songwriter who delivered one of the best break-up songs in music history.  This is the year that cultures blended, genres fused, the world got smaller, and the music got bigger.  And, these are the Lair of the Okapi's favorite tracks of the year...

# 10 - Michael Kiwanuka - "Tell Me A Tale"

At first listen, "Tell Me A Tale" is a familiar vintage soul gem - maybe an under-appreciated Otis Redding b-side, or a lost masterpiece from a 1973 blaxploitation film.   Nope.   It's 24 year old Michael Kiwanuka's brand-new soul classic.   Michael Kiwanuka grew up in London to Ugandan refugee parents, and his influences come from far and wide, but he's straight up American soul.   "Tell Me A Tale" doesn't break new ground.  Instead, it shows us that there was still at least one unturned stone from the 1970s, and there is something deeply satisfying in knowing that there might be even more to be turned over.

 # 9 - Grimes - "Oblivion"

For a song called "Oblivion," that warns of the dangers of walking around on a dark night,  it sure is exuberant.   I get the feeling that Vancouver-raised Québécois Grimes (Claire Boucher) hasn't just conjured '80s New Wave and early '90s Rave with some liberal pinches of Bjork eccentricity and Cocteau Twins dreaminess - she is the inevitable magic of those ingredients.  "Oblivion" is bouncy, fresh and playful, but it's built on a solid, obviously smart (and slightly dark) foundation.   It's hard not to hear this without thinking that Grimes is the future of music.  And it's really hard to not click "replay."

# 8 - Antony and the Johnsons - "Cut The World"

Antony Hegarty is nothing less than a savior for the marginalized, the abused, and the forgotten - a Renaissance being for the sensitive souls of our world.   Antony was born in England, grew in San Francisco, and bloomed in New York City.   With the voice of a transgendered angel, and the hurting but defiant spirit of Nina Simone, Antony's music and projects have been damned near impossible to categorize, and "Cut The World" hasn't made it easier.   More a composition than a song, "Cut The World" is an incredibly intimate meditation on suffering the cruelties of this world - made big and beautiful by a collaboration with Danish National Chamber Orchestra.  ***The composition is gorgeous.   The video is disturbing, and if you're even a little squeamish, I'd advise you listen and not watch.***

  #7- A Place To Bury Strangers - "Onwards To The Wall"

A Place To Bury Strangers has done the truly impossible.   They have successfully resurrected the darkly enchanting soul of Joy Division, and made music that is completely relevant today.   Of course, in my opinion, Joy Division was, is, and will always be relevant to everything, ever.  "Onwards To The Wall," thankfully, doesn't sound like a cover, or rip-off.  It, somehow manages to actually take us back to that otherworld that Joy Division came from - with it's ethereal arrangements over an aggressive bass and slicing and melodic wall of sound guitars.

#6 - Rhye - "The Fall"

"The Fall" is beautiful.   It's just beautiful.  Sensual, tender, intense, sexy, honest, driving, elegant, and beautiful.  It's cool jazz, piano house, and the Quiet Storm.   It's everything.  As a kid, I imagined my adult life, in my New York City penthouse, with its sprawling city night view, with this song playing.   The vocals sound a lot like Yvonne Elliman meets Roisin Murphy, but the voice is actually Mike Milosh, half of the all-male, half-Canadian, half-Danish duo, Rhye.  "The Fall" is their first single, from their upcoming first album, due out in March.   I cannot wait.

#5 - Gotye (featuring Kimbra) - "Somebody That I Used To Know" 

About once a year, there is a song that is so inarguably good that underground music snobs, like myself, are powerless against loving it despite its pop chart success.  Last year, it was Adele's "Rolling In The Deep."  I challenge you to find anyone in the world who didn't have at least a slight obsession with this one last spring.  And, it's not a guilty pleasure, it's just a great song.  Belgian-Australian Gotye, and New Zealander Kimbra, gave us all a authentic vessel to channel our past and present heartache, and a really catchy chorus.  Go ahead.  Click play, and sing along.   You know you want to.

  

#4 - Tanlines - "All Of Me"

Tanlines exemplifies all that's good about Brooklyn's hipster scene - and there is a lot of good synth-pop goodness that comes with all of those bow ties and "ironic" mustaches.  Since the electroclash hype of ten years ago faded, Brooklyn (and Berlin) have continued to push danceable retro-wave into the future, and with the amazingly infectious hooks, deep into our brains to be replayed over and over and over again.   "All Of Me" has the urgency of a youthful crush on an hot summer day.   Oh, and a great dance beat.   

#3 - Santigold - "The Keepers"

Santi White, now known as Santigold, is the face and the voice of the new America.  The country's "Leave It To Beaver" days are long gone, much to the November surprise of a whole lot of well-to-do white Republicans.   Had they listened to "The Keepers" when it came out this summer, they would've been a lot less surprised, and maybe, just maybe they'd be a little more ready to walk away from their delusional American dream, and on board for America's bright future.  Santigold has been putting out awesome genre-fusing music for a few years now, but "The Keepers" shows us that she's taking her creative brilliance to a whole new level.  

#2 - Django Django - "Default" 

Django Django is a four-man outfit from Scotland, but I think it'd be impossible to listen to "Default" and not feel like you're on a dusty Route 66 road trip.  Analog synthesizer sounds, 60's surf guitars, a driving bounce, and psychedelic-y vocals = one very happy listener. It seems a simple formula, but this default is anything but formulaic.    

#1 - S O H N - "The Wheel"  

I've spent the past two months trying not to be completely consumed by this song.  It begins innocently enough, with a strikingly minimalist opening, and then I become submerged in its truth.   It is a deeply personal message from the next realm about how to navigate this one.  Subtly intricate in structure, and simply and deeply profound, this song is just mesmerizing, to "the very last breath."  


So, there you have it.  The completely and totally biased 2012 Lair of the Okapi Top Ten.   I hope it's been fun.  I'm going to try to have a few posts between now and December 2013, but until the next post, here are some great songs that I just couldn't fit into the Top 10...

Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti - "Baby"
John Talabot (featuring Pional) - "So Will Be Now..."
Pet Shop Boys - "Leaving"
Lana Del Rey - "Ride"
The Scissor Sisters - :"Let's Have A Kiki"
Kim Ann Forman - "Return It"
Jai Paul - "Jasmine"
Matthew Dear - "Her Fantasy"