Friday, April 25, 2008

Sunshine State Priorities

Ah, the headlines today. The bazillions of dollars we've spent on our War on Iraq has crippled the dollar and pushed us into a spiraling recession. Iraq's oil fields were supposed to fund the invasion, but it hasn't quite worked out that way, and skyrocketing oil prices have pushed the price of transporting food to the point that Americans are having trouble putting dinner on the table.

While the nation is finally awakening to the consequences of nearly 8 years of Republican scheming and nepotism and incompetence, we in Florida are realizing that we may very well take the hardest punch.

Our real estate market has collapsed. Trust me. I work in real estate. I work with people every day who are losing their entire life savings - and few of the people I work with were speculators or investors. Many of them just got behind because of the incredible increases in property taxes and insurance, and the 30% drop in market value of their property has left them without the option of selling and getting out from under.

Recent reports show that South Florida has the highest rate of inflation in the nation. While the national average is currently at 4%, those of us in the Miami - Ft. Lauderdale metro area are seeing 5.3 - 5.8% average increases in prices.

For the first time ever, the big moving van lines have reported more people leaving the state than moving in.

Our educational system ranks among the worst in the nation, and we're becoming well known for the attention we give our children, some of whom have absolutely no conscience.

And, rising sea levels from global warming will likely overtake most of the state in the next 50 years.

Faced with this most sobering and serious set of challenges, our elected state leadership has decided that the discussion that most needs to be had and debated is how can Florida's activist Christians supplement their bumper stickers and stick-on Christian fish, so as to be able to practice Christian humility, and announce to the world in a more profound way their Christian-ness.

The solution to this urgent dilemma has been presented by Rep. Edward Bullard - a license plate that humble Christians will be able to pay extra for, so that I can be certain that the driver of the car in front of me "believes," while I sit in un-fucking-believable traffic on I-95.

The planet is dying. Genocide has become a way of life in many parts of the world. Over 4,000 young American men and women have died in a pointless war. Rice is being rationed at Costco. Looks like we're headed into the Second Great Depression.

And, the leaders of the Sunshine State have set their priorities.


Lauren J said...

At least you can leave your handgun in your Jesus protected vehicle while visiting Florida.

Joe said...

I have a spare room up here in Atlanta! Get out now!