Sunday, February 04, 2007

More Rant, Less Rave

At the moment, these are the top 5 things wrong with America...excluding, of course, the upcoming War on Iran and Syria.

1. Family car decals. I think this annoying trend started as a way for soccer moms to justify their gas-guzzling, global-warming SUVs. "Look, I have 7 kids ranging in age from 2 to 14, so I need a Ford Explorer, dammit!" What I can't figure out is why otherwise decent suburban parents would want to advertise to every sexual predator sitting in traffic, the ages and hobbies of all of their children. As a side observation...though these decals are offered in "dark-skinned" versions, you will never see black folks partaking in this silliness.

2. Leaf blowers. Seriously. The leaf blower really is a prime example of what is wrong with our society. It's an overly obnoxious, clumsy pollution machine that does nothing but blow your waste onto somebody else's property. Oh, yeah...and wake me up at 7am on an otherwise lovely weekend morning. Grab a fucking rake, and shut the fuck up.

3. Self-checkouts. I'm stunned speechless by the stupidity of retailers' move towards self-checkouts. Just look under the sign at Home Depot or Winn-Dixie that points to the new "ultra-convenient" self-checkout mess. It's complete chaos. A significant percentage of the public will never understand how use them. And, for the people who, for all intents and purposes, should be able to use them, they don't work. And the store still has to hire someone to stand there to help nearly every single person. What genius came up with this pennysaver? I'll take a surly cashier who hates his/her job anyday over this mess.

4. Glenn Beck. How did this hateful, racist, xenophobic bumbling Baby Huey-looking dork get his own show on CNN? That Bill O'Reilly really riles them up. And, that Ann Coulter...grrrr. But, I can't imagine that even hateful, racist, xenophobic middle Americans find Glenn Beck entertaining. Even Faux News didn't want him.

5. "Santorum to Think About U.S. Enemies." Rick Santorum has been drafted by a conservative "think tank." I thought this was an article from the Onion when I first saw it. But, apparently, Rick Santorum is one of the conservative rights most important, um, cough, um, thinkers.


Alan Bennett Ilagan said...

I am in complete agreement over the Self check-out fiasco. I hate them! Well-said.

Sinister Dan said...

When my local market installed these last year, it nearly caused an armed insurrection in the baked goods aisle.

Nice post.

Cooper said...

That self check-out thing is just sadistic! Some people have a hard enough time figuring how to bag their own groceries let alone check them out. (Note: I hate bagging my own groceries).

I'm old-fashioned, I guess.

Shelly said...

I agree with everything you said. That makes your blog great! Rick Santorum appals me. He has no place in a think tank, since he doesn't qualify, having no functioning brain.
Actually I like self-checkouts but I will never ever ever give them my fingerprint.

CNN is lost, Glenn Beck only proves it. I no longer watch them. I rely on this wonderful 'series of tubes' for my daily news.

A* said...

Dearest, return a phone call will ya?

That being said, I too rebuke the self-checkout. It yells at me all the time and frankly is oversensitive to everything. However, here in NC it's actually quite convenient when you have say and gallon of milk and Jell-O pudding snacks. Of course, about 12 people live here so that may account for the facility of use. The thought of one in my A&P in NJ definitely gets me giggling.

On the CNN tip, I believe they gave Rick Satantorum a show b/c they are always being slammed as being too liberal (just read my betrothed's blog). Sometimes CNN likes to be a little bi. Like FOX with the psycho news but totally over-the-top entertainment i.e Nip/ Tuck.

Valerie - Riding Solo said...

Rant away friend.

I used my vaccume hooked in reverse to blow my driveway. Why buy a second tool?

I would rake but then I have to find the rake, LOL!

familyman said...

Ha Ha. I am on the floor laughing. That list is exactly my list!