Just Another Cliche Un-American

Your Inner European is French!

Smart and sophisticated. You have the best of everything - at least, *you* think so.

Who's" Your Inner European?

Crisco Disco

Blogger Campfire Games

Blogger-Extraordinairess A** passed this little get-to-know-your-blogger-friends-better-campfire-slash-pajama-party game along to me. Apparently, these questions originated deep in the blogiverse, so it seems only right that I should attempt to keep it going.

Alright my Cyrian friend your questions are as follows:

1) If you lost every single material possession what would you miss the most?
My photos. Good photography allows us to re-connect neural pathways that may have, for one reason or another, been incinerated. And that's nice. Close runner-up: The clock that I bought on the street in San Francisco made out of a '70s disco record album cover with a hairy man's arm grabbing a fistfull of "disco".
2) What is the most important life lesson you have learned thus far?
Anything can be snorted...but it doesn't always feel good.
3) You get to have 5 minutes with the "Powers Above" what would you talk about?
I'd ask to see the power point presentation called "The Big Bang and You."
4) If a book was written entirely about your life what would it be called and why?
Nibbled By An Okapi .... a personalized version of Touched By An Angel.
5) (James Lipton Alert!)Cyrus ... (dramatic pause) what sound or noise do you love?
The sounds of the cloud forest in Monteverde, Costa Rica. Especially the deeply haunting call of a three-wattled bellbird. And yes, I am completely comfortable with my level of eco-nerdiness.

And now....Totally copied and pasted from A**'s blog:

Your turn! (if you want)I'll offer to interview the first three people to respond to this post just:
1. Leave me a comment saying *interview me*
2. I will respond by asking you five questions here on "9th Circle" in the comments section. They will be different questions than the ones above. Oh Goddess let's hope they are as good as these..
3. Then you update your blog/site with the answers to the questions.
4. If you want, include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. Then you ask 5 questions! :-)

Crib Notes From The High Rollin' Okapi

I have finally pretty much caught up with the train wreck at work caused by our company conference in Las Vegas last week. I've been all over this country of ours, but Vegas has always eluded my adventures. To be honest, Sin City was never really that high on my list of necessary destinations. This was certainly not due to its sinfulness, per se, but more due to my perception of the way the sins are packaged. I think I must have been rebelling against a perceived commodification of sin, which, all too often dilutes the fun.

I stand corrected. Vegas fucking rocks. I was there officially for an unreal estate conference, I didn't get drunk and I gambled really minimally....and I still had a BLAST! I'm still kind of reeling from the sensory overload of it all, but here are some highlights...

* The Blue Man Group at the Luxor. This was possibly the coolest show I've ever seen. It is my opinion that truly great post-modern art can be defined by its ability simultaneously touch the primal and the futuristic, its abililty to provoke both complex introspective thought and childish giggles, and its ability to be interactive. Blue Man epitomizes great post-modern art.

* Cirque du Soleil Zumanity at New York New York. For a good time, definitely call Zumanity. This adults-only version of Cirque du Soleil was beautiful, funny and completely entertaining. Of course, for my jaded acquaintances, the man on man jail scene, the woman on woman water acrobatics scene and the high-flying dwarf man on leggy naked woman scene wouldn't raise one cynical eyebrow...but it's sure fun to watch the straight Kentucky tourists squirm.

* The rides on top of the Stratosphere tower. At the top of the 120-some story tower are three cute little relaxing rides called the High Roller, the Big Shot and the X-Scream. Yeah, um, if you just want to take a load off and relax a bit after a long day of walking from casino to casino, then, um, this is the place to be. The Big Shot is exceptionally relaxing if you don't have a lot of leisure time.

* Pai Gow Mania. It apparently takes a four year degree in Asian gambling to understand the rules to this Chinese poker, but it takes only a sense of the absurd to enjoy watching the craziness.

* I also took a little time out to check out the Stardust Casino. As it turns out, in my continuing archaeological dig of my genetic history, back in the day, Uncle Milton Jaffe was a co-owner of this lovely Las Vegas landmark that now features the Wayne Newton Theatre. I took a picture.

I took lots of pictures.

This One's For La Drea

It's nearly identical to my own personal list....minus Ellen....I can't get enough of her, period. The 50 Most Loathsome People of 2004.

Music To Live By

It's come to my attention as of late, that I have an apparently annoying habit of making repeated claims that "no really, this is like my favorite song ever..." So, as difficult as it is...I'm making an official top ten songs of my life. Songs have been chosen according to cosmic brilliance, relevance to my life and/or ability to assemble neurons in my hypothalamus into MDMA fractal-like formations. If I ever have that movie made, the soundtrack would look exactly as follows.

1. Papua New Guinea - The Future Sound Of London. Picture it. Woodside, California. 1992. A log cabin, a redwood forest, a sauna full of ravers, glitter falling from the full moon and this...the most beautiful song ever made.

2. Stella - Jam & Spoon. Again, it was 1992. I had no idea where I was going in life and I didn't care. This masterpiece sounds like the sun coming up over the Nevada desert opening the day to a million possibilities. Just hold me. Love me. Hold me. Love me.

3. Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division. The ethereal brilliance of this song can never be matched. It still sends chills up my arm.

4. Move Your Body - Xpansions. The theme song to the night that changed my life. The genius that was created by a 303.

5. There Is A Light That Never Goes Out - The Smiths. A few months ago, I had the honor of hearing this one live as Morrissey's encore. I was like a 14 year old girl at a Beatles concert. The most inspired lyric ever...hands down..."and in a darkened underpass, I thought oh god my chance has come at last. And then a strange fear gripped me and I just couldn't ask."

6. It's Alright - Pet Shop Boys. The summer of '89 was so much fun. This song makes me so happy that I nearly cry everytime I hear it.

7. Perfect Kiss - New Order. An electronic orchestra handed straight down from the heavens.

8. Psychotropic - Hypnosis. Full-frontal blissout. Man those escalators were fun...but who were those fuzzy people?

9. Running Up That Hill - Kate Bush. It conjures romantic feelings of heather uplands and druidic landscapes. What a wonderful voice.

10.Voodoo Ray - A Guy Called Gerald. Vocal samples from an entheogenic phantom calling from a far away nebula. This track is an absolute landmark.

So there. I did it. It's possibly out of my system now.

Blessed With $46,000 After Using Prayer Rug!

So after a long day of self-evaluation at my new job in the unreal estate industry and visualizations of myself as Annette Benning's character in American Beauty, I come home to a mailbox stuffed full of bills and an envelope festively decorated with bible quotes and testimonials from Jesus' satisfied customers. Normally I would just toss it into the trash without even opening it, but I've been doing the personal trainer thing three times a week and my behavior has been, uh, er, unpredictable. And, so, enticed by the brilliant marketing of "These next 24 important hours are crucial to you. Timing is important to God." I took a deep breath and dove in. Having not been raised as the church-going type (thank god), and therefore not regularly exposed to crucifiction art, I nearly screamed when I pulled out a paper church prayer rug with a picture of Jesus complete with a crown of thorns, closed eyes and a small tear running down his nose. At the bottom of the paper prayer rug are instructions..."Look into Jesus' Eyes you will see they are closed. But as you continue to look you will see His eyes opening and looking back into your eyes. Then go and be alone and kneel on this Rug of Faith or touch it to both knees. The please check your needs on our letter to you. Please return this Prayer Rug. Do not keep it." At this point I am mystified...and wondering how did they draw this portrait in such a way that Jesus' eyes do actually open if you stare at it long enough? I'm also wondering what the Jesus capitalization protocol is since Eyes is capitalized after the name Jesus, but not capitalized after His. Hmm. Then I mosey over to the section where I am supposed to checkmark my prayer needs...and the choices abound...

( ) My soul.
( ) My Health.
( ) A Family Member's Health.
( ) To Stop A Bad Habit
( ) A Home To Call My Own.
( ) A New Car.
( ) A Money Blessing.
( ) Pray For God to bless me with this amount of money: $______
( ) Enclosed is my see gift to God's work of $_______

Does anyone else feel uncomfortable here? Then I move on to the testimonials from the clients of Saint Matthew's Church. C.D. from Pennsylvania writes "Dear St. Matthew's: God blessed me with over $5,000!" Mrs. T.F. from Texas writes "Our Lord...has blessed us with a big 6 room house!" E.C.S. from North Carolina thanked St. Matthew's because he/she "received $10,000 in a financial blessing!"

Religion is creepy. I wish I lived in a Blue State...with palm trees.