Damned Tree Huggers!

Stimpy sent this one to me, and well, I just had to share....click on the picture to make biggy.

Score One For The Witches!

I just love this story....

From USA Today:

Elwood "Bunky" Bartlett says a New Age book store made it possible for him to become an overnight multimillionaire...Bartlett, an accountant from Dundalk, Maryland, said he made a bargain with the multiple gods associated with his Wiccan beliefs: "You let me win the lottery and I'll teach." Both tickets he purchased had numbers chosen randomly from the computer.

Happy Long Weekend!

Mel & Kim - "Showing Out"

The Hypocrisy Continues

Let's See...

Traditional Family Values Case # 1 - In September of last year, Florida Republican Senator Mark Foley immediately resigned his position as the public was made aware of a sexually explicit instant messaging conversation between the Senator and an underage male Congressional page. Ironically, much of Mark Foley's political career had been built on fighting child pornography and the sexual exploitation of minors. Conservatives joined Democrats in a call for further investigation, and possible criminal charges against the Gay chicken hawk former Senator.

Traditional Family Values Case # 2 - In November of 2006, Mike Jones went public with the news that vehemently anti-gay born-again evangelist preacher Ted Haggard had paid him for dirty meth sex, on a near monthly basis for 3 years. Ironically, much of Ted Haggard's career had been built on waging a "culture war" against Gay people. Ted Haggard was quickly removed from his position, and shunned by his long-time conservative supporters. Ted is now completely heterosexual, but having been previously Gay....his career is now over.

Traditional Family Values Case # 3 - This past July, Senator David Vitter's name was released as a client of a Washington D.C. house of prostitution. The Louisiana Senator admitted to having broken the law and paying for extra-marital sex in the past, and let the world know that God, and his wife have both forgiven him. Ironically, much of David Vitter's political career was built on his traditional family values fight to stop Gay people from having equal marriage rights. Senator David Vitter was NOT removed from office, or even shunned by his Republican base. In fact, good ole' hooker-hiring Louisiana boy David Vitter received a loud round of applause at a recent Senate Republican luncheon.

Traditional Family Values Case # 4 - Senator Larry Craig's name has been all over every television, radio and internet outlet ( including the well-received Lair of the Okapi ) as dirty Republican Senator of the week. As we all know by now, tap-dancing Larry Craig pleaded guilty a few months ago, after an arrest for soliciting sex from another man in a public restroom. Ironically, Senator Craig's political "stances" have always been particularly anti-gay. Most certainly, Senator Craig is going to be forced out of office, if he hasn't been yet ( I'm still waiting to hear the breaking news ). Fellow Republicans are calling for the most severe consequences possible for the tearoom troll.

Is it me? Or is there something even more wrong here? Mark Foley, gay, removed, ruined. Ted Haggard, gay, removed, ruined. Larry Craig, gay, removed, ruined. David Vitter, straight, applauded, possibly re-elected.

Traditional Family Values - Part Two

Ok....I think at this point, that I should run a weekly "Traditional Family Values" update where I collect and post all of the week's goriest Conservative sex scandals. Following right on the heels of Mark Foley, Ted Haggard, David Vitter, Bob Allen - we now have the Senator Larry Craig public restroom debacle.

A little background on Senator Craig. Before tearoom-gate, good old Larry Craig was well respected amongst his fellow hateful, mean-spirited, self-loathing conservative brethren. The American Conservative Union, a powerful lobbying group, awarded the ill-ustrious Republican leader with a score of 96 out of 100 for supporting the Federal Marriage Amendment (which would ban states from allowing gay people to marry), as well as his vote to NOT extend the federal hate crimes legislation to include hate crimes against gay folks. Certainly, he also got a few points for his statements shortly after Hurricane Katrina, comparing the birthplace of Jazz to the quagmire in Iraq and suggesting that New Orleans should be abandoned because "Fraud is in the culture of Iraqis. I believe that is true in the state of Louisiana as well."

In between all of his "social work" and voting to stop the gays from marrying, Senator Craig also found time to rehearse with other right-wingnuts - Trent Lott, John Ashcroft and James Jeffords - The Singing Senators! It seems that back in 1995, the Singing Senators barbershop quartet was formed as a back-up plan, should the Republican Revolution backfire. Apparently, not a bad idea. The Singing Senators actually performed with the Oak Ridge Boys and released a CD.

Now, we find out that Senator Larry Craig was arrested in June, and pleaded guilty to suspicion of lewd conduct. Though he did actually plead guilty, Senator Craig now claims to have no idea how his toe-tapping, foot touching, finger indicating, door-crack peering bathroom stall antics could have been construed as anything but normal public heterosexual behavior.

You can read the police officer's report here

At what point will Americans get sick of the hypocrisy. What will it take?

Hot Off The Press!

Today's headlines...

Karl Rove has quit his position as the white-est man at the White House to pursue a career in mainstream hip-hop.

Hillary Clinton admits to her work in the 1970s as the voice of Wonder Woman.

Scott-O-Rama returns to save the Constitution.

And Stimpy turns 38!

You Know How I Feel About Texas....

Louise: I don't want to go that way. Find a way that we don't have to go through Texas.

Thelma: Wait. What? You want to go to Mexico from Oklahoma and you don't want to go through Texas?

Louise: You know how I feel about Texas...we're not going that way!

The marketing team of the High Point Church in Arlington, Texas is really top-notch. According to the church's website, High Point started just a few years ago as a congregation of just 16 poor souls in someone's living room. But, under the guidance of Pastor Gary Simons, the High Point marketing division was able to build their flock to 5,000 loyal spiritual consumers, who now worship every $unday in a 432,000 square foot House of the Lord, that sits on 100 of the holiest acres in Texas. With slogans like "Miracles Still Happen...I'm Living Proof," the High Point public relations gurus were able to move beyond the fact that Pastor Gary has the most extreme case of "gay face" since Paul Lynde, and really take their humble little church into the realm of "any franchise for Jesus is possible."

Well, the miracles are still happening at High Point...thanks to a miracle-working marketing team that really knows its customer base. This past week, High Point Church cancelled a planned memorial service for Cecil Sinclair, who was the brother of a church janitor, because Cecil was an unrepentant homo-sex-you-all, who was survived by his life partner. Cecil was also a son, a brother, a member of the Turtle Creek Chorale and a Navy veteran of Desert Storm, where he helped rescuers to find downed pilots.

The High Point marketing group, and Pastor Simons, know that Jesus, and his most beloved followers, hate the homosexuals, and to have offered the dignity of a memorial service in their Mega-Church to a loathed homosexual would most certainly have tarnished the brand's image amongst the good spiritual consumers of Texas.

From MSNBC:

Simons said the church believes homosexuality is a sin, and it would have appeared to endorse that lifestyle if the service had been held there.

“We did decline to host the service — not based on hatred, not based on discrimination, but based on principle,” Simons told The Associated Press. “Had we known it on the day they first spoke about it — yes, we would have declined then. It’s not that we didn’t love the family.”

And, just so there's no confusion....divorcees, adulterers, child abusers, liars, thieves, Bush-administration officials, cat burglars, malicious gossipers, shell-fish consumers, Aqua-Net users, warmongers, gun-toters, bullies, gamblers, cheats and coveters are welcome every $unday at High Point.

UFOs Are Real!

Paul Moller, an engineer, inventor and apparent devotee of Nu-Renaissance Fair, Dr. Who-esque Moog analogue synthesizer music has finally been able to bring us the M200G Flying Saucer Hovercraft. It hovers about 10 feet off the ground, and can travel up to 50 miles per hour. The price tag: around $100,000.

My birthday is coming!

The Children Of House

It was Tim’s 1990 Bastille Day fete – one of those events that always brought all the Pittsburgh underground youth tribes together. There were the Carnegie-Mellon hipsters, the patent-leather creeper ambisexuals, the edgy industrial-punk queers, the militant Act-Up-ers, the Point State Park theatre majors, the disaffected Dithridge kids and the should-be-in-New-York-but-stuck-in-Pittsburgh clubbers. And, of course, no party of that era in Pittsburgh alterna-gay history could have even been mentionable without the attendance of the residents of 227. Most often just referred to as the Queens’ House, 227 North Neville St. was a sort of hip, debaucherous gay frat house, certainly not affiliated with any sort of higher learning institution. Erik, Thom, Jason, Michael, Joel and a changeable entourage of minor characters who, generally, had simply forgotten to leave after the last Queens’ House party a month or two ago were the epicenter of all things cool, fun and irresponsible.

It was a muggy, sticky summer night and Tim’s house was packed to its Victorian-era rafters. Having been around the scene for a few years already, I knew most everyone, but I’ve never been much of a mingler or a chit-chatter so I headed straight for the living room dancefloor. Back then, DJs at house parties were a luxury and a rarity, so days before a party were lost assembling mixtapes of underground alterna-dance music. Rare New Order and Pet Shop Boys 12” remixes imported from Japan, Nitzer Ebb, Xymox and Book of Love. And of course, the perennial white label pre-released Madonna du jour.

Stimpy pulled me off to the side, and asked if I could somehow get whoever was in charge of the music to play a cassette that he’d brought. He handed his cherished cassingle to me. I looked down at it, and then never looked at him the same way again.

I met Stimpy a few months earlier, through our gay youth group. Tim had known Stimpy in high school, and brought him to the group and the scene. Stimpy seemed like a nice guy to me – but a little nerdy and a lot needy. Years and years of school torment left me susceptible to over indulge my first experience of in-group status.

It sounds a bit more new-agey than I’m comfortable with, but I really was feeling a connection to some new energy – a 100th monkey-style pull. And, when I saw that cassingle that said “French Kiss” on it, I knew – I knew – that Stimpy was feeling it too, and that I had just completed another necessary connection. We got the tape played, and everyone danced to the sound of the future.

A year and a half later, the vague pull that we felt turned to outright restlessness, and Stimpy, on a total whim, instituted his SEARS (Sell Everything And Run Swiftly) sale. Within 2 weeks from his decision to leave Pittsburgh, found himself at roommate referral in San Francisco. Shortly after arriving, he, and about 20 of his new best friends, called me from a pay-phone at one of San Francisco’s first raves – the Whoopy Ball, and Stimpy’s picture was plastered in NewsWeek as a visual of the new cyberdelic youth movement on the West Coast. Two weeks later, I was headed cross-country in a Renault Alliance with $300 and some techno tapes.

It’s been 15 years since we stepped off the edge, and became who we are. We live in different cities at the moment, but we still talk nearly every day as though we’d just seen each other yesterday. Most people wouldn’t believe the things that we’ve seen together, and that doesn’t matter to either one of us. We were a part of the revolution that no one knows about, we stood on top of the mountain and watched the sun rise and we’ve laughed ourselves out of the absurdity of 1,001 tragedies. We were the children of house.

Happy Bastille Day Stimpy!

Traditional Family Values

I’ve been trying to keep my nose out of politics. I haven’t publicly expressed my seething hatred of this administration in quite some time. I’ve been watching Life on the D List and Top Chef instead of the pundit talk shows. I haven’t gotten into any heated discussions with co-workers over the Decider’s decisions regarding Scooter Libby, Alberto Gonzalez, or “The Surge” in Iraq. Sure, I’ve been wearing my new OBAMA t-shirt…but very quietly, and I haven’t made a peep about stupid Ann Coulter. It’s been good for me to take a breather.

But David Vitter. Good ole’ boy, David Vitter. Could there be a better poster boy for conservative America? David “family values” Vitter who has been adored by the Christian Coalition and the Family Research Council for spearheading the campaign to re-write the Constitution of the United States so as to forever ban states from recognizing the lifetime commitments made by gay Americans. David “traditional marriage” Vitter who stood in support of upholding and affirming traditional marriage by protecting it from those people of the same-sex who wish to love each other and live their lives together. David “sanctity of life” Vitter, who has fought so vehemently against a woman’s right to choose and against gay peoples’ right to adopt unwanted children.

And, on Monday, news broke that David Vitter, while serving his family values agenda, had been a cheating-on-his-wife customer of a brothel in Washington D.C. Apparently, it gets lonely in the capital while one is drafting mean-spirited legislation. Luckily, according to Senator Vitter himself…both his wife and God have forgiven him for his indiscretion.

Now, today, it’s come out that upstanding Senator Vitter was also a favorite customer of a brothel in his home state of Louisiana. * blush *

Honestly, I don’t really care that he visited these places. I hate that modern politics revolves around these sort of personal life ambushes. For all I know, his wife is totally ok with it, and encourages him to hook up with hookers. It’s the jaw-dropping hypocrisy that kills me. What kind of moral void does one have to possess to construct and relentlessly pursue a political agenda based on denying a group of people the basic dignity of marriage – because they’re not good enough – while banging a series of prostitutes all over this country?

I guess it’s the same moral void that drove our second Republican sex scandal this week.

"I don't believe there's any issue that's more important than this one. I think this debate is very healthy, and it's winning a lot of hearts and minds. I think we're going to show real progress." – David Vitter speaking, shortly after his state was devastated by Hurricanes Katrina and Rita, in support of banning gay Americans from marrying their life-long partners.

"Unfortunately, it's the crossroads where Katrina meets Rita. I always knew I was against same-sex unions.” - Comedian Senator David Vitter speaking at a Lafayette Parish Republican Executive Committee luncheon. Apparently, Senator Vitter’s joke was supposed to be at the expense of gay Americans…but was taken as offensive to a lot of non-gay Louisianans who lost their homes, family members, friends and livelihoods during the those hurricane disasters.

My Summer Vacation

In what has become an all too common occurence around here, I've been busy tending to real life stuff. Everything's good - just really busy. It's another beautiful day, and I'm on my way to finally see Sicko, so I can't go into anything of substance today. But, here's a quick update...we moved. Yes, Tony and I moved into a dee-luxe apartment in the sky-high. Life is good on the 17th floor.

The morning view

And, All Evil Things Too!

As a follow-up to my last post, it appears that all evil things must end too. Hateful, smirking, self-righteous and just plain mean Jerry Falwell has finally left this world. I don't want to celebrate anyone's death, but I must admit that I feel a sense of relief knowing that Jerry Falwell can no longer use religion as a deadly weapon against love and peace and tolerance.

All Good Things

The pure genius of New Order was one of the greatest factors determining who I became. "Perfect Kiss" from 1985 is an electronic symphony handed straight down from the heavens. This week, they officially called it quits after 27 years of innovation and art. I am so grateful that my era coincided with theirs.

It's Not Over

Last week, I received an e-mail that Jeff was not doing well - like, really not doing well. The e-mail went out to the whole extended group of friends, and it let us all know that Jeff had developed Progressive Multifocal Leukoencephalopathy, and that he was not expected to pull through. None of us even knew that Jeff was sick. Jeff passed away on Sunday. Jeff was a great guy, and I'm so, so sorry for those who were closer to Jeff than I was. I'm not sure what else to say, so I'll leave it at that.

Jeff Sweeney 1970-2007

15 Days

After 15 days, Henry Petithomme ended his hunger strike. Last Sunday, he was visited by Congressman Kendrick Meek, who promised Henry to deliver his message to Congress and George Bush. On Monday, Representative Ileana Ros-Lehtinen made a personal visit, and she also made a promise to Henry to work towards a day when Haitians are treated as refugees, in the same way Cubans are treated today. Nearly every local news channel and newspaper covered the story, and helped get Henry's message out, and Haitian-American leader Marlene Bastien helped everyone understand the terms refugee and temporary protective status. My friend, Lou, who works with the United Church of Christ in Pittsburgh, sent out a press release to over 100 media outlets in Western Pennsylvania, and to all United Churches of Christ nationwide. My friend, Erik, in New York, contacted some friends at the U.N., one of which is currently stationed in Haiti. Trisha sent a note of encouragement to Henry from England, and Olga and Lisa stood on the street in Little Haiti and invited passersby in to hear Haitian speakers and poets. Rodrigo, Brandie and Jason myspaced and e-mailed everyone they know, and visited Henry to give support to a man they'd never met before. A lot of co-workers of mine and Henry's ventured into a small church in Little Haiti for the first time, not knowing much about Haitians, or our policies regarding them, but wanting to let Henry know that they support him - even if they don't completely understand what he's peacefully fighting for.

Immigration is, I'll admit, a diffcult issue, with a lot of hard questions to be asked of ourselves and our country - and I don't pretend to have all the answers. But, what I do know is that my friend Henry is made of unbelievably strong character and a beautiful heart. His sense of commitment and responsibility is deeply inspiring and this country is a better place with people like him.

Visiting Henry every day, and getting to know his friends and family has been a great experience for both me and Tony. And I saw, once again, as Tony was moved to join Henry for 24 hours in a show of support, what an intelligent, compassionate and all-around great guy I've got. Under Henry's leadership we were all invited to help build the bridges necessary to make our community and our country great - and I don't think we'll ever be quite the same again.

Starving For Justice

Life has kept me super busy for the past month - new job, getting ready to move into a new place, visitors, a week o' the flu, and catching up with neglected friends - so my blogging and lurking has suffered severely.

But I had to stop back in to share something important, and ask for a favor from my gentle reader(s).

A friend, co-worker and all-around good guy has committed himself to bringing attention to the discriminatory immigration policy that exists - commonly called the wet foot/dry foot policy. Right now, the law allows any Cuban who reaches United States dry soil to stay as a refugee from communism. If Cubans are interdicted at sea by United States authorities, they're sent back to Cuba - unless they can prove that they're lives are in danger if they are returned. For Haitians, it doesn't matter if they reach the beach, or not. They are detained for months in immigration prisons, and sent back automatically, because the policy states that Haitians are just economic refugees, whereas Cubans are refugees from a communist system of government. To a lot of Haitians, the wet foot/dry foot policy looks more like a white foot/black foot policy.

A little over 2 weeks ago, a small boat with 102 Haitian refugees landed in Hallandale, just north of Miami. One man died in the surf, trying to reach the shore. The rest of the 101 people were captured and detained, and will most certainly be sent back to Haiti after risking their lives to escape. Unfortunately, Haitians and Haitian-Americans have very little political power, even here in Miami, so few people even noticed these people's misery and pain.

My friend Henry Petithomme, answering what he calls a spiritual calling, decided to commit himself to peaceful protest through a hunger strike - to call attention to the discriminatory policy that our government pursues, and to the suffering of these refugees. Henry is one of the most committed, strong, stubborn, visionary, hard-headed go-getters that I've ever known. Today will be 12 days without food. Henry's health is deteriorating, and he is prepared to die if he doesn't reach his goal of gaining national attention.

A few days ago, Jetro Nelson, who I also work with, joined Henry's protest, and went 3 days without eating. Yesterday, Tony (yes, my Tony) joined Henry with a commitment to 24 hours with no food as a show of support.

Today, there will be a unified cross cultural stance of Hope & Unity as we support Henry at the Episcopal Church of St. Paul located at 6744 N.Miami Avenue in Little Haiti, from 12 noon throughout the day. I don't want Henry to die, so I'm asking as your friend, because Henry is my friend, that if you are in Miami - please stop by and show your support, and if you are outside of Miami, please forward this to as many people and media outlets as possible. It only takes a few minutes. There will be live poetry, skits, powerful motivational speakers, special music guests and more. Congressman Kendrick Meeks is scheduled to come. Please forward this to radio, TV, internet bullentins... all media. Let the voice of the voiceless be heard. Please help Henry in his efforts.

IF YOU WANT TO SEND A NOTE OF SUPPORT TO HENRY - E-MAIL Makendal30@yahoo.com. Thank you for your support ! Please pass this on and help get the word out.

I will return to regular blogging about nothing in particular and lurking around your blogs soon.

It Sure Gets Cold Up North

Last week, Tony's nephew and his nephew's fiancee came to visit from Tennessee. We had a great time showing them around. This week we are in the midst of a spur-of-the-moment-I-need-to-get-out-of-New-York visit from Erik. I couldn't be happier. So, until I can return to the world o' blogging...here's the Okapi Song of the Week...

"Young Folks" by Peter Bjorn & John

The Las Vegas Remix

Until my company’s conference two years ago, I’d never been to Las Vegas. I’d been all around it…Phoenix, Los Angeles, Reno…but never Las Vegas. To be honest, Sin City was never really high on my list of necessary travel destinations. This was certainly not due to its sinfulness, per se, but more due to my perception of how Las Vegas sins are packaged. I think I must have bee rebelling against a perceived commodification of sin, which, all too often, dilutes the fun.

Upon my first visit, two years ago, I stood corrected. I was there officially for an unreal estate conference, I didn’t drink, I gambled really minimally…and I still had a BLAST!

For those not in the know, for the past several years, I’ve been applying my graduate degree in Comparative Sociology and Socialism by selling out to the Man and doing marketing and transaction coordination for a real estate team. A couple of months ago, my team semi-dissolved and I was temporarily without job. In addition to the possibility of homelessness and starvation, I was really bummed that I wouldn’t get to go to the upcoming annual conference in Las Vegas. But, alas, I was quickly hired by another team…same company, different office…and BAM! I was, once again, headed to Vegas!

Since Tony works for the same company, we got to go together and, enjoy a romantic, partially company-subsidized Las Vegas Valentine’s Day. We both had a great time. Here are some quick highlights:

*Blue Man Group – it was my third time (once before in Las Vegas, and once in New York) and Tony’s first time. Blue Man is possibly the coolest show on the planet. I really think that truly great post-modern art can be defined by its ability to simultaneously touch the primal and the futuristic, its abililty to provoke both complex introspective thought and childish giggles, and its ability to be interactive. Blue Man Group epitomizes great post-modern art.

*David Hasselhoff – we saw him walking through the MGM Casino. There are few possible celebrity sightings that could’ve matched it.

*The Stratosphere Tower Rides – at the top of the 110ish story tower are three cute and relaxing rides called the Big Shot, the X-Scream and Insanity. Yeah, um, if you need to take a load off, and relax after a long day of walking from casino to casino, this is the place to be. If you don’t have a lot of leisure time, Insanity is particularly relaxing.

*Dollar Rent-A-Car – when renting a car for a two-day road trip to the Grand Canyon, we were amused as the perky and professional rental agent let us know that we needed to return the car with a full tank of gas, and that since the car had just been turned in, we should inspect the glove compartment for anything that might get us arrested if we got pulled over for anything. She wasn’t trying to be funny.

*Big Horn Sheep – we saw a small group of them climbing a rocky slope near the Hoover Dam. As you can imagine, I nearly caused us to careen out of control as I screamed for Tony to pull over. So, so cool.

*Flagstaff, Arizona – we spent the night in this peaceful hippie-ish mountain enclave. Love the vibe, but fuck does it get cold at 7,000 feet.

*The Grand Canyon – we took a helicopter tour, and after, just stood on the rim, speechless. I really don’t have words to describe the soul-shaking beauty of the Grand Canyon. You think you’ve seen it on tv, or in movies…but the awesomeness of it just can’t be conveyed in any other way than to experience it for yourself.

Oh, yeah, and I nearly met Vegasgustan. I tried. He tried. Missed him by that much (said in Maxwell Smart voice). Now, he and Audra and Noah have to come to Miami.

The Okapi's Favorite Nibbles

A little more than 2 years ago, this blogging thing was still a mystery to me. It just seemed a little self-important…to think that the public would be interested in your diary. Then, my little lamb, started The 9th Circle, and I found myself coming back again and again – mainly to keep up with her life in New York. She’s great at getting her voice into her writing, and I could just hear her in every snarky viewer mail post and every scathing observation on public transportation. It somehow made her seem not so far away.

So, just out of curiosity, I started the Lair. I knew that I didn’t want to do a daily diary type blog, and I didn’t want to do a specifically themed thing. I thought it would be less obligating, and more my style to think of my blog as more of an online scrapbook for ideas, pictures, stories and stuff. I started to read other blogs from The 9th Circle blogroll, and found myself “getting to know” a few bloggers – Jackie, Hof, Van, Vegas, Dan and Moo. Through Moo, I met Val. And she made me laugh with her cricket finger puppets. Then I went through a “not so good” period, and I was surprised by how my blog friends really rallied around, when I needed a few kind words. I, myself, couldn’t put much into words then, but I spent a lot of time surfing blogrolls and filling my temporary emptiness with other peoples’ lives. During that challenging time, both Val and Marisol suffered terrible losses, and my heart just ached for them.

My life did get back on track, and as I became interested in the world again, I expanded my blogroll with blogs that caught my attention because they were smart or funny or particularly well-written – like Scott-O-Rama, Get Your Life, Random Speak, The Martian Anthropologist, Afarensis, Meanwhile and Joe.My.God.

Recently, I noticed that a lot of the blogging friends I’ve made over the past 2 years, have, for one reason or another, bowed out, and my blogroll was looking like a museum collection of blog relics. So, I searched and I lurked. And I pruned and grafted my list of daily reads. And I’m getting to know a few new fantastic sites and their really, really talented authors – like Cooper’s Corridor, Circumlocutor, Getting Myself Together, Intelligent Design , Sad and Mad, Juliepatchouli, Angry Black Bitch and It’s Just Ice Cream.

I’m leaving for Las Vegas today for a week. While I’m gone, I’d love if some of my “old” friends introduced themselves to some of my “new” friends – and vice versa. Go ahead. Most of them won't bite.

Now tawk amongst yourselves.

More Rant, Less Rave

At the moment, these are the top 5 things wrong with America...excluding, of course, the upcoming War on Iran and Syria.

1. Family car decals. I think this annoying trend started as a way for soccer moms to justify their gas-guzzling, global-warming SUVs. "Look, I have 7 kids ranging in age from 2 to 14, so I need a Ford Explorer, dammit!" What I can't figure out is why otherwise decent suburban parents would want to advertise to every sexual predator sitting in traffic, the ages and hobbies of all of their children. As a side observation...though these decals are offered in "dark-skinned" versions, you will never see black folks partaking in this silliness.

2. Leaf blowers. Seriously. The leaf blower really is a prime example of what is wrong with our society. It's an overly obnoxious, clumsy pollution machine that does nothing but blow your waste onto somebody else's property. Oh, yeah...and wake me up at 7am on an otherwise lovely weekend morning. Grab a fucking rake, and shut the fuck up.

3. Self-checkouts. I'm stunned speechless by the stupidity of retailers' move towards self-checkouts. Just look under the sign at Home Depot or Winn-Dixie that points to the new "ultra-convenient" self-checkout mess. It's complete chaos. A significant percentage of the public will never understand how use them. And, for the people who, for all intents and purposes, should be able to use them, they don't work. And the store still has to hire someone to stand there to help nearly every single person. What genius came up with this pennysaver? I'll take a surly cashier who hates his/her job anyday over this mess.

4. Glenn Beck. How did this hateful, racist, xenophobic bumbling Baby Huey-looking dork get his own show on CNN? That Bill O'Reilly really riles them up. And, that Ann Coulter...grrrr. But, I can't imagine that even hateful, racist, xenophobic middle Americans find Glenn Beck entertaining. Even Faux News didn't want him.

5. "Santorum to Think About U.S. Enemies." Rick Santorum has been drafted by a conservative "think tank." I thought this was an article from the Onion when I first saw it. But, apparently, Rick Santorum is one of the conservative rights most important, um, cough, um, thinkers.